How to Ask For a Raise: How Do You Know You’re Not Just Bragging?

By · Monday, September 30th, 2013

Have a fear of bragging about why you deserve a raise?  Do you play mind games with yourself regarding the potential negatives of getting a raise?  Do you think “If I get a $20K increase then how will that affect my co-workers’ and friends’ perception of me?  I won’t be one of them.  They will not want to share and complain with me.  I’ll be on the outs.  They’ll think I’m stuck up.  So how can I hide my raise?  What if I buy a new car?  What will others think then?”

This fear is powerful and has kept many of us in line and down forever.  Do you think “I’ll be on the outside looking in and the higher ups will see me as an interloper and not deserving?”  These mind games can play havoc with your feelings of self-worth.  Answer:  Separate work from your friends and social life.  Work is about your career and advancement. Your social life should be a separate arena.  Don’t mix the two. The more you blur work and your social friends, the more issues like this come up.  Do you really need a social life revolving around work?  They call it work and co-workers for a reason.  Work is not called social time and friends.  Know the difference and succeed/prosper.

It is too much to address in a short tip.  However, not hanging out with your co-workers is a huge topic. It is not a black and white issue.  Being friendly at work is different than having close friends at work.  Are there exceptions to this? Yes, every rule has exceptions.  But, you wouldn’t be worried about fear number 6 if it wasn’t for friendships that are too meaningful and close to you.  Just keep this in mind:  Your friends don’t feed you and pay your rent, your boss does.  Reminding yourself of this distinction will keep your priorities and relationships in perspective.

What self-talk do you do in your head when wanting to brag to your boss about your accomplishments? Share your feelings about bragging or touting your achievements. Please share below:

Have you ever worried that if you do something, then someone else will want to get even with you?  If yes, then you’ll enjoy the next fear in our series.

Are you anxious to get started moving your life forward and making the money you deserve? I don’t blame you.

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